“Kindness is like snow- It beautifies everything it covers.” – Kahil Gibran
You might stumble upon millions of people who’d rather trade their souls for a sculpted body over a sane mind. For most people, this is where things get ugly. The reason? Prioritizing physical needs over our mental stability and wellbeing.
Being kind to your mind is when you’re 100% comfortable in your own skin, and possessing the ability to live with a million emotions while decoding each one of them as a beacon of hope, and being able to manifest your feelings optimistically that you can finally be mentally stable.
Be that as it may, let’s clear one thing out. Life is like a bed of roses. At a glance, it might seem velvety and comfortable, but when one decides to lie down, they sure will have a couple of thorns piercing their bodies when they finally get up.
Like so, we should come to terms with that life is going to give us plenty of hard times. But, this doesn’t mean that we should beat our heads with the feeling that we are not enough.
Each person has their own pace. When one might have complete stability over their mind, one might break down by an incident that might seem insignificant. But, if these feelings are drowning you, your mind might be foreshadowing an underlying mental instability that you should never skip as they can come creeping back in a lesser or greater form.
Some deal with mental issues with exercising, while some overcome these with meditation. But the biggest mistake you’ll ever make in your life is ignoring your mind. Hurtful and pessimistic thoughts can marinate and overpower you and make you insecure in the long run.
From a young age, opinions that don't belong to me have been clouding my decisions and greatly impacted how I perceived the world. Not to mention, the insecurities that originated from these unwanted opinions have molded how I faced each day.
However, I was able to have a decent amount of self-awareness, improve self-confidence, and self-love through long-distance running eventually regaining my strength. This made me care less about getting the approval I constantly sought from others and how I look at the world now.
But, now you must be wondering, how do I start? Here are some of the fundamental steps to help you find kindness towards yourself first.
1. Give Yourself Credit
If you’re giving others the credit they deserve, then you’re a person to die for. But, ask yourself whether you’re giving enough credit for your achievements. If you achieve something today, dwell on that moment and pat yourself on the back.
If your inner critic says that you could’ve done better, bring that inner advocate out and tell the critic that you’ve done enough and be proud of yourself. Repeat self-affirmation phrases including, “I’m worthy”, “I deserve to be happy”, “I’m enough just the way I am”.
2. Don’t beat yourself up
We all make mistakes. If you’ve done something in the past that haunts you at night to this day, try to forgive yourself. If you haven’t been able to stand up for yourself in the past, think that every path you walk on is always meant to teach you a lesson. Perhaps you haven’t continued through pursuing a goal because you got scared. Think of this as an opportunity to stumble upon a better goal that suits you ideally.
Scrutinize the root cause for each mistake and take action. If you fail, keep reminding yourself that it’s always going to be okay.
3. Accept and Respect yourself
Self-respect is when you know your worth and do not let anyone say otherwise. You should be able to stand by your decisions no matter what. I realize this is easier said than done. I’ll teach you a little trick. When you proceed to do whatever is based on your opinion, think of it as a teaching moment. This way you won’t punish your mind for not getting other people’s advice.
Accepting ourselves can be tricky because we tend to cover up our own strengths and highlight our weaknesses. Keep repeating to yourself every day, that life is like a rollercoaster. Peaks won’t be there forever, neither will the valleys. You’re not a cyborg, so accept your quirkiness and embrace your personality. Don’t ever try to fit in by changing yourself. JUST BE YOU!
4. Don’t settle for less than you deserve
I cannot say this enough. We must always thrive to be more than we are today. Always think that you deserve more. To have more than you possess now, you must believe in your skills, emotions, and own traits. Thinking highly of yourself is being kind to yourself. However, don’t confuse this with overconfidence, because that is not somewhere you want to go, believe me.
Another conspicuous quality of people who respect themselves is believing in their dreams. These people don’t trade their dreams for uncomfortable realities. If you respect yourself, then respect your dreams and make them your goals. Honoring your dreams that aren’t mere fantasies is equal to honoring your mental peace. What’s the worst that can happen, you will fail once or twice but always remember every failure will lead you to success.
5. Don’t be a perfectionist
Don’t get me wrong, being a perfectionist is great. However, keeping it all together is not mandatory. It is like screwing a metal pin into your head. We are allowed to be messy once in a while. Let your mind fly free from time to time.
The bottom line is, we oftentimes forget that we are humans, and we are allowed to make mistakes. Overthinking about what we could’ve achieved over not thinking enough about our potential is a huge disadvantage. Learn to embrace your perfect imperfections.
In a nutshell…
Have you had a rough day? Book a spa appointment, soak in a bubble bath, get a massage, go for a walk or a run, make yourself a hot chocolate, or dance to your favorite music until you convince yourself that you’re dancing in front of thousands of people.
Do not give your mind a hard time, learn to let go and appreciate what you have. Incorporate regular exercise into your day-to-day regime and attempt mindful meditation.
Make self-appreciation your number 1 priority. If you fail, pick up from where you left off and start over.
Remember, nothing is Irreversible. Just keep going.